LFCReds School

DLS words can't describe how funny this is. I find myself needing my semi-weekly fix of LFCReds School and Liverpool Football School just to survive.

You're a bully! Big bully threatening someone like that! :

I know I shouldn't do it but when I''m watching the boys live, I have a chuckle to myself when I see Fernando and Stevie looking at each other 

  Liked the bit about Venison at the end!!!

 

Thanks for the mention DLS but I think Crouchinho has ripped me again

Loved the lil cisse long paragraph...classic 

I'll trade you his paragraph for 40 cents and a hat?


lilcisse's paragraph though had me in absolute stitches! My favourite bit of your excellent writing so far. Brilliant mate!

Nice one DLS brightened up my Monday morning at work

Court:   "I vote no."

^^^ King of the one liners? 

Fantastic stuff DLS!!!

We'll get him won't we aw1   

You better believe,the plan is you distract him and I'll hit him from behind 

Wow! A mention for little old newbie-me.  Thanks DLS.

You've portrayed me as a nosey bast*rd haven't you?  Do you think I ask a lot of questions?  Where do you get this sort idea from?  Does anyone else think the same? Will Mr Ayrton give me detention if I p*ss him off?  When's the next instalment out?

 

Will Mr Ayrton give me detention if I p*ss him off?

Already got my eye on you, boy. Careful now!

Sorry Mr Ayrton.


:cough:   Miserable old sod   :cough:

Sorry Mr Ayrton.


:cough:   Miserable old sod   :cough:

Speak up Lad 

Nothing, Sir.

doesn't look like I've got to write anything for this thread, everyone seems to be in character and doing the work for me

However since you all lack my comedy genius skills , I'll get to writing the next one when I get back in later.

doesn't look like I've got to write anything for this thread, everyone seems to be in character and doing the work for me

However since you all lack my comedy genius skills , I'll get to writing the next one when I get back in later.

I know, we're so easy to work with

Sorry Mr Ayrton.


:cough:   Miserable old sod   :cough:

Another crack like that and I'll make you write an essay on the (not so) glorious history of the Blueshite - 5,000 words, and you aren't allowed to use the word "bitter" once!

Mr Ayrton, I think you've overlooked one thing sir, you're the French teacher. Shouldn't that essay be in French?

Mr Ayrton, I think you've overlooked one thing sir, you're the French teacher. Shouldn't that essay be in French?

Ahem..  Monsieur Ayrton, ils sont aigri.  (Repeat 100 times)

C'est d'accord?

Mr Ayrton, I think you've overlooked one thing sir, you're the French teacher. Shouldn't that essay be in French?

Anything saying the bitters weren't sh*te would be foreign to me!

Ahem..  Monsieur Ayrton, ils sont aigri.  (Repeat 100 times)

C'est d'accord?

C'est bien! Je te donne une etoile pour tes efforts!

(In fact my written French is crap so we should leave it there I think! )

I was amazed my O level (22 years ago) came back at all.   

It's Friday and you know what that means...SCHOOL TRIP.

(gonna put me Quadrophenia soundtrack on, get a cold can of coke and get this done.)

It's Friday and you know what that means...SCHOOL TRIP.

(gonna put me Quadrophenia soundtrack on, get a cold can of coke and get this done.)

Love your 'motivational needs'.

Court Collapses

The entire school was eagerly anticipating the first school trip of the term. The headmaster JD had decided to take all the kids on a trip round Buckingham Castle, which got everyone excited as you can imagine.

JD:   "OK everybody listen up. Listen. Crouchinho shut up. Thank you. Now this is going to be a long journey down to London but that still doesn't mean you can start misbehaving. I expect the same level of manners shown on this bus as you show in school. The company providing us with the bus has said that food and drink is allowed to be consumed on the bus, but if you haven't got your own then tough. I will not have any trading on this bus or people trying to make a quick few bob. Is that clear?"

All:   "Yes sir."

JD:   "Good. Now when we get there I don't want any of you embarassing yourself or the school with rude comments towards Her Royal Magesty. You'll show her the same respect she shows you. Finally I don't want anybody trying to steal anything from the palace. That's a lifetime's worth of priceless artifacts, so you'll keep your hands to yourself."

aw1:   "My hands will be busy on some other priceless artifacts sir."

JD:   "I'm not even going to ask what you mean. Just settle down and we can set off."

The bus set off on the long trip down to London.

MsG:   "What did you mean by priceless artifacts?"

aw1:   "Ah you'll find out sooner or later."

MsG:   "Sounds fun."

aw1:   "It'll definately be fun."

MsG:   "Good, I like having fun."

7kk7:   "I'm always up for fun you know."

MsG:   "That's nice to know."

7kk7:   "You ever been to London before?"

aw1:   "Nah, but I've been down south before."

MsGerrard and aw1 started giggling with each other.

7kk7:   "I don't get it."

aw1:   "She does."

The two started giggling again.

Reslivo:   "You looking forward to this Mag?"

Magillionaire:   "Too right. It's the palace in it."

Reslivo:   "Yeah, can't wait either."

Magillionaire:   "Teachers seem a bit nervous as well."

Reslivo:   "That a good or bad thing?"

Magillionaire:   "Good, might be able to nick something if they're on edge."

Venison:   "There'll be nothing like that Magill. You heard what the headmaster said."

Magillionaire:   "Yes sir."

Shay:   "Poor old Mag, not getting his way. Diddums."

Magillionaire:   "Shut up you."

Shay:   "Someone's not too pleased."

Magillionaire:   "Someone's going to get a black eye in a minute."

Venison:   "There'll be nothing of that nature either Magill. Do I have to come and sit there with you?"

Magillionaire:   "No sir."

Magillionaire continued to sulk, while Shay persisted in winding him up.

County_Rd:    "What's the first thing you're going to do in London Ken?"

RedKenny:   "Take a piss at Stamford Bridge."

County_Rd:   "What about you Court?"

Court:   "I'm gonna get pissed and meet the Queen completely bladdered."

County_Rd:   "That I have to see."

ayrton:   "Have to see what?"

County_Rd:   "Court pissed."

ayrton rolled his eyes and sighed.

Ra Ra:   "Anybody got any decent music?"

gareth g:   "I've got The Specials."

Ra Ra:   "Guess not then."

DLS:   "Put it on Gaz, they're boss them."

gareth g:   "Alright mate, what you doing here?"

DLS:   "Free trip down to Lodnon.  Ain't gonna pass that up. I'm meetin' some bird down 'ere later, thought I might as well save meself the train fare."

gareth g:   "You'll get in the neck if you get collored."

DLS:   "I'm Scouse, we're used to 'idin' from authority."

gareth g and DLS began laughing.

DLS:   "Ow's aw1 gettin' on with MsG anyway lad?"

gareth g:   "Two of them were laughing about something earlier."

DLS:   "Good luck to him. We've got a bet that he nails her before I get the girl who works in Sayers."

gareth g:   "Oh that's why he's over her like a rash?"

DLS:   "Too right lad, but keep it under ye hat. In the meantime, I've gotta go an 'ide again, here's County."

County_Rd:   "Who were you talking to gareth?"

gareth g:   "Myself sir. I do that sometimes."

County_Rd:   "Are you lying?"

gareth g:   "No sir."

Mr County returned to his seat.

Watt:   "Eh B, can I borrow your lip gloss girl?"

Bpatel:   "Yeah no probs."

Watt:   "Ta."

Bpatel:   "Trying to look nice for Prince Charles are you?"

Watt:   "As if."

Bpatel:   "What for then?"

Watt:   "Just don't want to look scruffy, like him over there."

Watt pointed to Mr Kenny while Bpatel laughed.

paulrobbo:   "What do we call the Queen miss?"

Smiggs:   "Not love."

JD:   "You should call he ma'am."

RedKenny:   "Or Lizzy depending how well you know her."

7kk7:   "I'm sticking to ma'am."

JD:   "Good. Pass that message down the bus as well. You refer to her as ma'am."

The message went down the bus.

Crouchinho:   "Did you hear the way Jackie D was talking to me before. Telling me to shut up?"

Ally-LFC:   "Can't blame him."

Crouchinho:   "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ally-LFC:   "Nothing."

Crouchinho:   "Well lets make it something."

Ally-LFC:   "Sit down mate. I'm only pulling your leg."

aw1:   "I'm pulling more than a leg."

aw1 and MsGerrard began giggling with each other again.

Crouchinho:   "Come on Ally, let's have it."

Ally-LFC:   "I'm not fighting you."

Crouchinho:   "Shithouse."

Ally-LFC:   "No I just don't want to get into trouble before we reach the palace."

Aussiered:   "Good thinking."

Ally-LFC:   "Thanks."

The conversations continued while gareth g and Ra Ra Rafa continued to argue about their muscial tastes.

7kk7:   "Do you want a malteaser sir?"

Court:   "Thank you."

7kk7:   "They're mint sir."

Court:   "Oh good I li... Mr Court collapsed and lay motionless there and then on the floor. The bus stopped and everybody gathered round to see what had happened.

Is this another school trip cancelled?

Will Mr Court be OK?

Tune in next time to find out.

DLS:   "Some people have no manners, I'll 'ave to get off here and make me own way to London."

!

Is Court gunna be sent to hospital?!

  ..i don't like cliffhangers!! I do hope Court is OK!! 

 

  Loving it DLS by the way!