The "What's Joey Barton done now?" thread

What a tit!

That is pure comedy gold

That is hilarious, part of me thinks he must of been doing it for a bet, then I realise it's Joey Barton.

Classic.

sh*t funny that, got to be taking le piss!!

Reckon its worse than Mclaren's that.

F***ing hell is that funny or what?? I totally believe the F***ing bellend would be happy with his performance.
He'll be thinking '' piss easy this talking French business, I'm well in here''.

That is HILARIOUS!

Publishers to release ‘Learn French the Joey Barton way’

From the people who brought you Steve McClaren’s Dutch In Ten Eashy Shtepsh.

Have you ever wished you could speak a foreign language, but just can’t be arsed to learn? Then English footballer Joey Barton – pronounced Joseef Bahton – has the answer.

The former Man City and Newcastle midfielder, who is currently on loan at Olympique de Marseille from QPR, amazed the gathered media at a recent press conference after he used the English language to communicate in fluent French.

“If you think a circumflex involves the use of a scalpel, and a Cedilla is a monster created by nuclear testing then this is the book you’ve been waiting for!” – Piers Morgan

Learn how to shrug your shoulders in French!

Wan! Tooooo! Thwee! Fwar! Learn how to count to twenty as you punch someone repeatedly in the face!

Meh! Learn to not give a sh*t as only the French know how!

With invaluable phrases like, ‘I sink you av speeled ma dreenk, zerefore I weel extuingueesh zis cigar een yur fess’ and ‘Wizzout ze musique life wud bee a mistaque’, Joey will teach you how to enjoy a night out while impressing the locals with your knowledge of Nietzsche.

Turn your Gallic disdain on match officials. ‘Why you geef me red card? Ees only a dislocated shouldeur ‘ and ‘Zat ball was neffeur out of play – you sink I am sam sort of cont?”

An ideal gift for native English speakers who think “savoir faire” is a theme park near Bootle. So why not add a certain Je ne sais quoi to your spell in Casualty this Christmas?

On sale now at the bargain price of seex pounds seexty!

Also in this series – Emile Heskey’s Bloody Beaut Guide to Australia, Understanding the Wiltshire Dialect with Paolo di Canio and How to speak Los Angelican by David Beckham.




http://newsthump.com/2012/11/27/publishers-to-release-learn-french-the-joey-barton-way/#ixzz2DSuwgWPe

Come on, it has to be for a bet

Oh. Holy. F**k. Made my day, that did... what a wab. 

Pantomime season is well and truly with us.

As much as the guy is such a tool I sort of let him off a bit after his actions with regards the JFT96 campaign

But that accent is comedy gold - right up there with McClarens Dutch one.

I wonder if Barton did it as a piss take

Mon Dieu Joey!

Anyone seen Joey on Twitter today?

All started after Martin Samuel, a journo for The Daily Mail, wrote an article saying Joey should come out as gay so football can have its watershed moment. Well Joey didn't like that;

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
I see Jim Royles giving it beans about my sexuality in the Daily Mail. Like thats anything to do with him. Can he say what he's said?

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Sounds slightly bigoted and homophobic to me. Any legal-eagles out there know if he can get away with this?

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
My sexuality is of no concern to anyone except me and my family. Can't see the missus being happy about this piece.

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Nor, would I like my child (when old enough) to read this tripe. Shoddy journalism.

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Its just wrong and a little bit weird why he would write this. pic.twitter.com/zMv7gJqB

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
In light of the Leveson enquiry, it seems a strange thing to print. I mean I have never even met the guy. He doesn't know me. Shocking

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
I've put a call in to colleagues of Martin's asking him to call me and explain his piece and his homophobia in general.

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
I shall wait for his retort before I decide what to do. Its actually a disgusting piece. That says more about him and his outlook.

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
People's sexuality. Colour of skin. Religious beliefs. Should not matter. It should not be an issue. Yet, time an time again it is. #sad

Piers Morgan ‏@piersmorgan
Unusually silly, unnecessarily offensive column by Martin Samuel re @Joey7Barton today. I'm with Hercule Pitbull on this one.

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@piersmorgan his flippancy about the issue is part of a wider problem.What chance has a modern day gay footballer got battling such bigotry?

Oliver Holt ‏@OllieHolt22
@Joey7Barton @piersmorgan it's wrong to accuse Martin of bigotry. He was making a wider point about homophobia in football.

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@OllieHolt22 @piersmorgan It would be great if a footballer felt brave enough to challenge the accepted norm, but the current situation is a reflection on the audience, not the players. This 'journalists' proves he is part of the wider problem with his outlook. Whilst I'm sure the argument is firmly tongue-in-cheek, but given the audience, this sort of flippancy is unhelpful at best, malicious worst. Strange piece, using a man he has never met or spoken to, ever.

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@OllieHolt22 @piersmorgan the amount of homophobic abuse I've had on hear since his article is actually shocking. I shudder to think of what a scary position it would be, right now in 2012 to be a gay footballer. Shame on us all.

Oliver Holt ‏@OllieHolt22
@Joey7Barton @piersmorgan don't disagree with you about any of that but if people are giving you homophobic abuse because of that article, they have totally misinterpreted it

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@OllieHolt22 that is said journalists responsibility. A desperate act, in my opinion. Its obviously worked as we our talking about it.

Sorry for posting all tweets involved but I think Joey made some very good points in there. It was a piece of piss poor journalism. Pathetic attempt by Oliver Holt to try and stick up for his journo buddy and credit to Joey for putting him straight.

You know what, well said Joey!

Fully agree with Barton on that

Samuels is a full blown c&nt who deserves to be brought down a peg or two

Joey's got that spot on. What right has that fat sh*t bag Martin Samuel got, to write an article like that, about someone he's never met. If you actually read the article it's completely bizarre and sums up why no footballer will ever want to come out as gay (also, why there is apparently a need for a player to announce he's gay is beyond me).

Hope Barton can do the fat gobs***e over and get an apology. Martin Samuel always comes across as the typical Fleet Street, up their own arse, shitehawk and needs to be dragged off his high horse to mingle with the rest of us, nobhead.

Everytime you think the lad might actually be ok he goes and says sh*t like this;

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Watching Patriots. Just heard from a magician that Loic Remy has signed for QPR. Not sure what happened at Newcastle probably Llambas again!

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton Joey do yourself a favour and stay out of club politics QPR and NUFC have paid you well for playing not to commentonrecruitment

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann trying to give me stick you cheeky man. Get your own life in order first... #peopleinglasshouses

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton I never said a bad word about my ex clubs and I never will as that's called respect and dignity Joseph .You got a lot to learn

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann what about they way I seen you prepare for a game. That dignified? Worst pro I've ever seen Youve got more front than Harrods

‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann only cos your trying your b*llocks off to get a job now your skint. Don't try a be all self righteous u blert. I know u!

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton My life was in order well before yours you should light a candle for Fernandes and Llambias every day for paying you that money

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@dietmarhamann if you wanna have it out publicly. Am here all day mate. Not having idiots like you talking like u actually have a clue!

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@dietmarhamann you where a good player. Won more than me, yeah. Thats were you en mate on the pitch. Ur life's a car crash. #pipedown

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann you earned a few quid yourself. U choose to spunk it. Don't hate me cos ur a f*ck up!

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton The problem is that you think because you play in France you think you are an international player #farfromit

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann i put the graft in mate. Not playing poker online and smoking biffas night before the game. I wouldnt let u manage a pet shop

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann u WHERE a good player. More to life than football, u nugget...

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann listen lets put the ball away. So what if i'm in France. So, what about football. Told u. More to life than football.

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton Never forget who pays and paid your wages my friend how you dare having a go at Llambias and Fernandes England international

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann like being a family man. Being honest. Being loyal. Being a man. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror. Can u do that?

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
Joseph I won't get personal as Twitter is not the place to do that but don't think you are bigger than you are

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann Whose had a go at Fernandes? U idiot! Don't be bitter. You earned ur dough but blew it. Don't ever try to call me out maggot

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton Yes I do look in the mirror. I made mistakes but don't forget where you come from.Dont bite the hand off that feeds you

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann you chosen to get personal a few times. Now, u don't like it when I do. Told u people in glass houses! No pipe yourself down

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann before you get fully emptied out publicly, you blert. You've got my number. You know where to find me 24/7

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton No problem Joseph lets see each other in 5 years I hope I don't have to go to Walton #prison

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann you'll probably need a loan for your bus fare there! #skabint

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann don't be getting all self righteous. If I were you i'd think twice about trying to be clever or giving ANYBODY stick.

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
I hope I didn't offend anyone I just wanted to make a point why football needs to change if a player who writes for the Big Issue has a go at some of his former clubs managements #englandinternational

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton You said you want to boil burglars alive last week ..get a grip son and concentrate on your football ...England international

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann champions leagues medals don't make ur wife or kids respect u. Ur life like a car crash mate. Sort ur own house out!

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Sick of washed up former pro's giving it big portions cos they've wasted their money. Medals don't pay your kids schools fees... #jogon

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
I'll take advice from people I respect. I won't however be told be someone I deem vastly inferior as a MAN, how to live my life. #norespect

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
There is more to life than kicking around a football. Yes, its great. I am lucky. I'd give it all up tomo for my family. #inaheartbeat

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton The medals won't make my kids respect me but im not prepared to punch a child in the face in McDonald's for them to respect me

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann u still here. U still engaged to that wrongun... #sillyboy

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann what a player u where. Now ur just a washed up coke head... #jogon u skint knobhead

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton I love a pint but never took drugs in my life be careful what you say England international #dontgetangryjoseph

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Sniffed and gambled all your dough. What a waste. Left kids and wife, cos u pulled a young bird. Tragic. Now do one Tourette's face!

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann i know all about u and ur firm of cronies mate. Buy and sell u all till the cow's come home. I'll leave u now, its al'arse...

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
I won't be engaging with dis-loyal, glue sniffers anymore. Say what he wants from now on. I'll see him when I see him... #smallworld

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton I let the people judge Joseph it seems to me you got a lot of anger in you #englandinternational

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann only for dogs... #dialaloan

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton I'm happy to see you anytime Joseph and I'll tell you the same thing as last time my friend I've not given up on you

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
@DietmarHamann for one, you have never been a friend of mine. Don't make the mistake of being an acquaintance. As before 365 24/7

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Disappointed in myself for getting involved in that. But never let a dog try to tell u its not a dog an that u are! A dogs a F***ing dog...

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton I'm chuffed to be a dog in your eyes ...i hope you can look in the mirror tomorrow

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
Don't pity him. He had it coming and got his few thousand followers, he constantly baits me for. #drugsareforinsecuremugs

Joseph Barton ‏@Joey7Barton
My New Years resolution right out the F***ing window as well...

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
@joey7barton Never mind a new year resolution Joseph as long as you won't change the world won't #2capwonder

Didi Hamann ‏@DietmarHamann
Football is struggling as punters can't afford watching games and you come out and blast former employers of yours ...Joey you are a bright Lad but you don't know what impact you got on here ...thats why punters lose faith in the game ...you are paid to play


And people think a ball bouncing off Luis' hand is what's wrong with football...

Wow... what the F**k.

Joey who? Love the jibe about England International!

Didi has certainly lived a colourful life, but as he says, he still showed respect to his former clubs. Joey, not so.

For the record, Joey, a lot of us are F***ing skint

Didi has certainly lived a colourful life, but as he says, he still showed respect to his former clubs. Joey, not so.

Didi's a class act, unlike Joey.

Joey Barton is an incredibly vain individual. To dare mocks someone's personal misgivings in the way he did on twitter to Didi Hamann is nothing short of disgraceful. Appalling behaviour.