IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ.
AFTER I WAS INFORMED THAT A WORD IN THE PART TWO POST MAY HAVE BEEN UNSUITABLE FOR SOME READERS I MUST APPOLOGISE IN ADVANCE TO ANY OFFENCE YOU TAKE TO THIS POST. IT'S DONE AS A JOKE AND NO HARM IS MEANT. THE SEXIST LANGUAGE IS HOW TEENAGE LADS SPEAK. THE HOMOSEXUAL NATURE BETWEEN TORRES AND GERRARD IS AGAIN A LAUGH AND I'M NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS. ANY SWEAR WORDS USED ARE FALSE OF HABBIT AS MY LANGUAGE IS A DISGRACE IN THAT SENSE. THE "RACIST" WORD USED IN PART TWO WILL NOT BE USED AGAIN AND AGAIN APOLOGIES IF IT DID OFFEND YOU. OK HOPE YOU ENJOY.
The third day of term saw the class go on their first day out. They were treated to a football match with a Belgian side called Standard Liege. The match would be played at Anfield.
Every member of the class arrived at school to see if they were allowed to go on the trip because it was only whom Mr. Benitez decided to take that would go. There was places for 21 students although only 18 would manage to be part of the match. Mr. Benitez began to read out the list of names he’d selected.
Beniez: "Diego, Andrea on the bus, Sami you're very lucky to be going, Daniel Agger, Keane, Gerrard, Torres, Aurelio, Alonso, Yossi, Arbeloa, Kuyt, Babel, Insua, Carragher make sure you behave yourself, N'Gog, Reina, Spearing, Plessis, Darby and finally Skrtel. Now before I confirm this as the 21, do you all have your kits?"
The lads all gave a definitve yes. Although a voice from the back cried out
Skrtel: "I've got no boots though sir"
Benitez: "Well it's too late now, borrow Hyypia's he's not going to be playing anyway."
The fortunate 21 kids all got on the bus and took up their seats. Carragher, Hyypia, Spearing, Darby and Agger claimed the back seat. Gerrard and Torres were next to each other, surprisingly. Benayoun was sat beside Mr. Benitez. The rest of the lads all found other seats to sit on.
Spearing: "Eh Carra how did ya get on with that Jenny girl last night lad?"
Carragher: "Nailed her didn't I. She was gagging for it an all. Poor old Sami had to make do with Kerry Cantona."
The back seat starts to laugh
Hyypia: "So what if she's a dog la, she's got some decet knockers on her. Plus I did her from behind so didn't have to look at the face."
Darby: "That's cruel that Sam. If she had the decency to shag a ugly git like you, you could at least let her see you."
The back seat again to laugh in hysterics.
Benitez: "Quiet down you lot."
Carragher: "Or what?"
Benitez: "Right who said that? Come on who was it?"
The entire back row pointed and said Kuyt. Mr. Benitez took Kuyt down to the front of the bus with him, while the back row sat laughing again.
Torres: "Oh aren't these streets horrible Steive? Where's all the beautiful scenery you promised me?"
Gerrard: "I'm looking at it." Gerrard said lost in Torres' eyes.
The bus continued it's journey but Mr. Benitez didn't have a quiet trip. Along with Dirk Kuyt at the front of the bus, he now had Fabio Aurelio and Xabi Alonso for playing cards. Yossi Benayoun also informed teacher that Emiliano Insua was chewing, so the young Agentine was at the front of the bus as well.
The conversations continued amongst the rest of the kids.
Agger: "Oi Chubs give us some crips you greedy sod."
Dossena: "Get your own."
Spearing: "Oi greaseball do as your told and throw them crisp over here before I have to get them meself and chin you the way past."
Dossena: "You don't frighten me."
Carragher: "He might not, but I will. Now throw them crisp over and make sure they're smoky bacon."
Dossena: "No. You're not having my food."
Jay Spearing got up and slapped Dossena on the back of the head and got five packet of crisp.
Carragher: "Good lad Jay, soft Itai, who does he think he is?"
Hyypia: "One of the crew obviously lad."
Spearing put two of the packets under his shirt.
Spearing: "Look Ste's ma, wrinkly tits."
Darby: "Oh so you've looked have ya?"
Agger: "Half of Lime Street's looked mate."
Again the back seat started laughing uncontrollably.
Benitez: "We'll be there soon so quiet. I've got my hands full as it is, now shut up."
Carragher: "Or what?"
Benitez: "Right who said that? Come on who was it?"
The back row pointed and said Cavalieri. Benitez took Cavalieri down to the front of the bus where he joined Kuyt, Aurelio, Alonso, Insua, Babel and Keane. Babel and Keane had been moved to the front after Benayoun had seen them with a FHM magazine.
The bus continued driving through the streets of Liverpool with Sam Lee at the wheel. It finally pulled up outisde the ground and the entire side got off and went into the dressing room.
Benitez: "Right the starting elven is Reina in goal. Carragher right back...
Carragher: "No I'm playing centre back. We decided that last term."
Benitez: "As I was saying Reina in goal. Arbeloa right back. Carragher and Skrtel centre back. Dossena left back. Kuyt right wing. Alonso and Gerrard in the middle. Benayoun left wing. Torres and Keane up front. The three missing out are Hyypia, Darby and Spearing. The rest of you are on the bench."
Spearing: "Hang on a minute sir, me, Ste and Sam didn't do anything wrong on the bus why do we miss out? Half the lads had to sit beside you on the bus, but they get in? That's out of order that la, you've got favourites. Not on at all. Victimisation that."
Darby: "Well said Jay, come 'ed let's sod off into the crowd. We're not wanted here."
Spearing: "You coming Sam?"
Hyypia: "Yeah, too right lad. He's a 'kin joke"
Spearing, Darby and Hyypia left in frustration.
Benitez: "OK lads, we need to win but just make sure you don't lose. That's more important, now go out there and perform. Steven would you mind giving a motivational speech?"
Benitez left the room and Gerrard rose.
Gerrard: "It's simple, give me the ball because I'm great and then I'll find the lovely Fernando who'll score. Simple. Anyone got anything to add?"
Carragher: "Yeah me, if we don't win I'm gonna batter everyone of you, especially you, you little grass."
Gerrard: "Right that's it lets go out and there do what we can.
The lads left the dressing room and walked out onto the pitch and the rest of this episode you can see tomorrow at 20:05 on ITV1.
« Last Edit: Aug 27, 2008 01:51:18 pm by dunlop_liddell_shankly »
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